... alone?
That's the dilemma.
And I'm not talking about a big picture, relationship, soul-mate kind of a dilemma. It's just an honest question: spend time with people or spend time alone?
Because good lord am I tired and stressed. I think I may be looking forward to a week of vacation from work next week more than the travel to Vienna that follows it! Yes, that's right, I'm taking about a week of hard earned, well deserved, and much needed leave from work before setting off on this [grand / insane / awesome / stupid / insert your own adjective] trip. Sitting and relaxing, reading a good book or three, watching Netflix, and not worrying about putting the energy or compassion or time into others feels like it may help to bring my stress level down from the "batshit-loco-crazy" range to the "normal" stress range.
Yet, I don't really want to spend a lot of time solo. For one, I'll probably have more than my fair share of that overseas; but for two, I've really come to like other people. And I enjoy putting that energy or compassion or interest into friends' lives not only because so many have done that for me, but because I'm genuinely interested in what they have to say.
That and I don't know that I feel like being alone.
Companionship and shared time together was something I dearly loved about being married. I'll be the first to admit that the quality of that time wasn't as high as it should have been and I'll also be the first to take full responsibility for that failing; but, I always appreciated knowing that someone important was around, and that there was nobody else that I wanted to just sit and do nothing with. I miss that a lot, and moving isn't going to make that any easier. Meetups and social gatherings have been great, and they help a lot ... but it isn't like sitting in our shared home together.
What does all of that mean relative to my question above? Maybe it means, do a little of both. Spend time with people (I plan to do so), and spend time alone for a bit. About 10 days until things change considerably, and I look forward to spending it de-stressing, sitting with good friends and family, and - yes - trying to relax by myself a little. So, please don't be offended if I don't text or call ... and please forgive this cyclical rant of a post.
